I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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