sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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