Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
