The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
