When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
