You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
