We should be called the Road Head Warriors
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
