I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
