I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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