Got a toothbrush?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
