Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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