We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
