I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
this will be a night to untag.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
