why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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