I love black thongs
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
