glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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