If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
