Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
