Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My ATM looks so different sober.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
