Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
