Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
