I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
