So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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