You're so nebulous sometimes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
