Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
