Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jellybeen101 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(806): View more from Texas

and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

Fav 77 2115 6983
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

I've always been the spiritual type.

Fav 27 8054 1234
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.

Fav 6 2471 1439
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.

Fav 11 5702 1174
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.

Fav 11 2202 1546
share tweet
(409): View more from Texas

i wish i coudl send you meat via computure

Fav 3 2202 1050
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.

Fav 6 2331 977
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.

Fav 10 1133 2041
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...

Fav 2 313 372
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT