maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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