So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
