3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
