we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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