We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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