your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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