You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
