Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
