I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
