He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
