new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
