To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
