love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
