I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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