I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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