I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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