you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
