I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
