I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
