Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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