i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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