Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i will never coherently bang her
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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