$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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