I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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