this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
