Screwed.edu
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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