How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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